FAACT's Roundtable

Ep. 245: Don't Feed the Fear

• Season 5 • Episode 245

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Living with food allergies can be overwhelming—but it doesn't have to control your life. In this episode, licensed psychologist Amanda Whitehouse, PhD, shares practical tools to manage food allergy anxiety and trauma. Learn how to help you or your family feel safe, confident, and empowered every day.

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Thanks for listening! FAACT invites you to discover more exciting food allergy resources at FoodAllergyAwareness.org!

Caroline: Welcome to FAACT's Roundtable, a podcast dedicated to navigating life with food allergies across the lifespan. Presented in a welcoming format with interviews and open discussions,

each episode will explore a specific topic, leaving you with the facts to know or use.

Information presented via this podcast is educational and not intended to provide individual medical advice.

Please consult with your personal board certified allergist or healthcare providers for advice specific to your situation.

Hi everyone. I'm Caroline Moassessi and I am your host for the FAACT Roundtable podcast.

I am a food allergy parent and advocate and the founder of the Grateful Foodie Blog. And I am FAACT's Vice President of Community Relations.

Before we start today's podcast, we would like to take a moment to thank Genentech for being a kind sponsor of FAACT's roundtable podcast.

Also, please note that today's guest was not paid by or sponsored by Genentech. To participate in this specific podcast,

we Life with food allergies can turn your world upside down.

For many families, it means constant vigilance, daily restrictions, and moments of real fear. But here's the truth. It doesn't have to feel like your food allergy is running the show.

Today we're joined by licensed psychologist Amanda Whitehouse, PhD, who's here to bring you hope and real life tools to help you manage food allergy, anxiety and even trauma.

Amanda's mission to help you and your child feel confident,

safe and fully in charge while navigating life with food allergies.

Welcome Amanda, to FAACT's Roundtable podcast. I have been waiting for this podcast. I adore you, I follow you, and so I'm just so excited that we get to talk about your work today on the podcast.

So welcome.

Amanda: Thank you so much for having me. I feel the same way. I've followed you since way back before you were with fact and so to connect with all of you, there is really an honor for me.

Caroline: Thank you. You know, it's such a small world, right? And our community is just so tight and lovely.

Amanda: I agree.

Caroline: So now let's get to know you better, if you don't mind sharing your background and then why food allergy just became so prominent in your practice.

Amanda: Sure. I think like most of us, it's a part of my mothering experience that became a part of who I am. When my son was diagnosed, I was just a new little baby psychologist figuring out what setting I was going to work in.

And, and I connected with the local support group here and very quickly so many people started reaching out to me for services.

So I've been so fortunate that all along my practice has kind of grown with me as I've grown into food allergy life.

And I, I mean, I never even, I've never had a website, I've never had to advertise. I've had this full practice all the way since because there are so many people who need this kind of support.

And really having it from someone who understands and who lives it is so powerful for some of them.

Caroline: It really is. I remember the first time we took my son to a therapist to get help working on his food allergies. He was five and it was just impossible to find anyone who understood.

But we were able to find somebody who said, fine, teach me.

Amanda: That's the key, right? If they are open to learning and understanding with anything, not just food allergies, anything in your life. That's how we do our jobs.

Caroline: Well,

exactly. And it's just gold. It's absolutely golden.

So now you're known for helping families address food allergy anxiety and trauma,

but how are these different from general anxiety and general trauma? What sets this apart?

Amanda: Sure, a lot of people, even the people who are living it, don't understand really what the difference is. We all have anxiety, we all have stress. But what sets it apart is that most people in a traditional therapeutic setting seeking help for anxiety are, are anxious about something that is either not a real risk for them or that is highly unlikely,

or that it's very exaggerated, which is not to minimize their feelings or the severity of that anxiety. But what approaches are effective for that are different for the approaches to addressing anxiety about something that is actually dangerous.

That is a significant risk that you do have to check and monitor and manage very carefully with a lot of attention.

And that is tied so closely to, for many of us, real trauma, real medical events that have happened,

or the unknown of how they could happen,

what they might look like if they did happen.

That is something that we have to treat very carefully because if we challenge that the way we would,

you know, oh, you're not going to get hit by lightning. Look how unlikely that is.

Well,

it is a possibility that we would have a medical event if we weren't careful about our food allergies. So that is unfortunately even really well meaning therapists I have seen have some detrimental impact on people they've worked with trying to,

you know, cognitive behavioral therapy them out of their worries, as if the risk is not there. And it, unfortunately it is.

Caroline: And do you see, like a lot of children who have the anxiety,

do you see a lot in the parents and caregivers? Or is there a difference even with adults with food allergies? What do you see kind of in these different ages and stages?

Amanda: Sure. I mean, to be fair, I'm seeing a self selected population of people who are seeking me out, of course.

So there are many people who are, don't have a high level of anxiety from their allergies. But the people that show up to me, I would say it's a mix of everything that you mentioned.

So definitely I have some young kiddos who have high anxiety. Their parents are very anxious about it.

I work with young adults, especially when people are diagnosed in young adulthood, that can be very difficult in a different way for them having to adjust so much while they're still in the phase of life where they're taking on independent living and their own self management.

And then of course, adults who are being diagnosed later in life or who have been managing them all their lives, Anytime someone has a reaction, particularly,

there's often quite a big backlash of fear and anxiety of reintegrating after such a scary experience.

Caroline: You know, you were just kind of leading me to my next thought when you were talking about after someone has a reaction,

is it anticipated there'll be some sort of feelings or events or fears that come up? Like what happens after someone has a reaction?

Amanda: Absolutely. I mean, one of the analyses that I use a lot is imagine if you were really, really afraid to fly and you managed to get yourself on a plane and the plane crashed.

You survived the plane crash, but then I told you you had to get on a plane every day,

multiple times a day, for the rest of your life, forever. You know, that is a lot different than something that when someone has a bad experience and they can avoid that thing reasonably.

So we have to get right out there again. We have to eat, we have to go back to school or to work. We have to go into public for the most part, so we don't get a break from that.

And our, our nervous systems are trying to protect us. They're right that there is danger, there was something that potentially or did harm us.

And we have to teach the body to find safety. A lot of people have an emphasis on thinking like, oh, you have to think this way or change the way that you see it.

But especially when there's been a trauma that's been experienced that doesn't really live in the head anymore. It's, it's the nervous system creating that response to keep you safe.

Caroline: And you know, you just said something, I think that was so Profound. When you said teach the body, can you talk about that? That sounds like it's amazing.

Amanda: Absolutely. I think one of the phrases that helps people understand this is when we're working on anxiety, thinking of top down, which is from our heads and our thoughts, that can create anxiety.

If I place a fear in someone and they get the thought in their head that that thing is dangerous or scary, then that creates symptoms in the body that we all know what anxiety feels like.

It can also come from the bottom up. And that's where I find a lot of people get stuck with their food allergy anxiety. When the body knows there has been danger or the nervous system has been programmed to fear something, it's not coming from our heads or our thoughts anymore.

It's the body telling us there is danger. I remember this scenario where that person or that food item, whatever it might be,

and that creates the physiological response in the body, that nothing that we tell ourselves in our heads at that point in time will make that go away. We have to convince the body that it is safe.

And the body speaks a different language than we do in our heads.

Caroline: This is just blowing my mind completely. I can completely relate to this. I recently had surgery and realized that my body has its own situation and I have to address that.

And I don't care what's going on in my mind.

You have to work with your body. So this is.

Is just mind blowing. This is amazing.

Amanda: Yeah. And you just said it. You have to work with it. We think of anxiety or fear or trauma as something to push away, but we have to acknowledge this is a protective mechanism in our bodies.

How our nervous systems were designed to keep us safe. So we have to learn to communicate with them, not try to shut them up and shove the symptoms down, which, you know, any medical experience that many people have had that often plays a part in it, including with allergies.

We can't just ignore the physical symptoms that we're experiencing, or they just get worse.

Caroline: Wow, that is very incredible. This is really good. And it's really kind of cool when I think back to my kids who were first diagnosed, which was, sadly, 25 years ago, because I'm that old,

but to see how we've progressed and how we're able to help people with food allergies and children with food allergies and how we're learning so much more, you know, in these different areas.

This is exciting.

Amanda: It is. And, you know, that makes me think another big part of this,

that people are struggling, that I'm seeing a Lot of. And I have ended up kind of specializing in it myself is people going through immunotherapy treatments, because here, again, we have so many tools now that can help kids.

They weren't an option for you when your kids were diagnosed. Right. But they involve doing the very thing that we are afraid of, that we have been trained not to do,

that causes some of this reactivity in the body. And so many people go through smoothly without any anxiety about it. But many others really have trouble getting over that barrier of,

you know, I never eat it, I never touch it, and now I'm gonna sit down and, you know, my mom and my dad and the doctor are telling me to eat it.

This is complicated. It's. It's a very complicated thing to work through.

Caroline: Exactly. And a food challenge just as well, right?

Amanda: Exactly.

Caroline: Don't eat it. Avoid it. Avoid it. But now we're gonna go test it, and everything's fine.

Amanda: Definitely. And again, just talking, just explaining or thinking positively. You know, I'm all about being a positive thinker and affirmations, and that can be helpful, but that doesn't usually con our body once we're already in a state of fight or flight and our body's panicking.

Caroline: Wow. This is absolutely fascinating.

Now, I know from visiting your website and following you faithfully on social media.

I have a question for you. So why do you believe that patients and their caregivers don't have to live in fear when the world really does feel dangerous for people living with food allergies?

You know, we wake up in the morning as a parent and caregiver, we wake up with the worry. Or, you know, my children, even though they're young adults now, wake up with that worry.

But you are very staunch about, we don't have to be in this fear. So could we talk about that?

Amanda: We don't. We love our fear. We. We think our fear is keeping us safe and protecting us. And I don't say any of this with judgment, because I have been there.

I still deal with it, but it's like this thing that we cling to that feels like a shield to us, but really it's this heavy thing that's carrying us around.

And so the line that I, like one of my lines, don't feed the fear, is one of them. And we'll talk about that. But my other one is to remind us to be careful and not fearful, because we think the fear and the actions that come along with the steps,

the behaviors that the fear brings,

are protective. But we can let Go of the fear, and it'll come and go, but we don't have to hold hands with it and walk through life with it. We can keep the things that it has taught us, how to be careful, how to gather information,

how to check all of the things that we do to keep us safe that aren't the fear. And that comes through, as I said, learning the language of the body and the nervous system that will teach the body that it's safe.

And so it doesn't have to be fearful. It can choose things with care out of a sense of groundedness and confidence and safety.

Caroline: Boy, those are words of wisdom. I'm like, can I just put these on my wall right now?

That is wonderful. I love this.

So now, speaking of words, you have a really popular podcast. So let's talk about the podcast.

Why did you create this podcast? And then what can we find there?

Amanda: Sure. So it's called Don't Feed the Fear. And it's. It kind of bounced around in my head for a lot of years, but I was wrapped up in my own food allergy, mom life.

So it wasn't until I finally found a window, a break in my motherhood cloud, which for me was getting my son into maintenance and oit,

where I felt like I could take a breath and take on this project,

which I wanted to do to reach more people than I could in my private practice. I've been swamped. I'm always swamped. I always take on more people than I should, as we all do.

We want to help everybody. And I thought, how exciting when there aren't many people out there doing what I do to be able to share this with anybody who wants to access it anywhere.

So I have on amazing guests. I've been so,

so blown away by the people that are so excited to jump on board and join me and share their expertise. And we talk about a lot of the same topics that.

That everyone's talking about everywhere else. But I try to do it with the mental health perspective and focus, and I try to tie in my, you know, trauma perspective to.

To broaden the conversation to include how mental health and wellness and anxiety factors into all of the medical things that we deal with.

Caroline: And how can listeners find the podcast?

Amanda: The podcast is on all your favorite streaming platforms. It's called Don't Feed the Fear. The website for the podcast is don't feed the fear.buzzsprout.com and I think it's pretty easy to find if you know the title of it.

Caroline: Now, were you nervous when you started the podcast, I mean. Cause just like we had to figure out the microphone and the technology and just all of this stuff, but because it's you yourself running everything.

How did you feel going into that?

Amanda: It's a lot. I'm not good with tech and you can ask. Some of my unfortunate early guests were just infinitely patient with me and working, including things like re recording entire episodes that did not go well.

So I am not great at that. I knew it would be time consuming, but it was even more time consuming than I thought it would be.

So that part has been a steep learning curve and it's still not perfect,

but it's.

It's so worth it. I'm. I'm enjoying the conversation so much and I'm learning and growing so much and being so much more connected with the allergy community than I ever was before.

I just have found it to be an amazing experience for me, even though that wasn't the goal.

Caroline: And it's really nice too that there's is this kind of resource out there for people, because people might not be able to find a therapist or afford a therapist even, but to be able to hear conversations that are about their lives,

that has to be just so amazing and so precious. And honestly, I love listening to podcasts when we're taking road trips or I'm exercising or walking the dog. And so I always kind of feel like there's this double bonus, like I'm doing something else.

But then I also get the bonus of this great information. And then listening to my people, like my community, I kind of feel like I'm listening to friends.

Amanda: I agree. And there's so much power in that validation and that belonging back to my nervous system. Focus.

That's how as humans, that's how we are wired, is to find safety in our communities and in the support we have from others. So yes, we can't always have it.

I can't always have that doctor for my son's allergist, but I can listen to his words or, you know, I read your blog and now I get to listen to you when I walk on your podcast.

And it does feel so strong to be able to connect with people in ways that we couldn't before.

Caroline: Exactly. I just feel so connected. My heart is warmed. I just feel like I'm going to be okay. Like there's somebody out there who understands. And I'm not crazy. I mean, maybe a little weird,

but not fully crazy.

Amanda: Little weird, isn't it? That's a good thing.

Caroline: See, I do too I like, I like the weird.

Now I also know you offer small group sessions, so if you don't mind talking a little bit about what those are.

Amanda: Sure I do. So I, I'm pretty full for my practice as far as individual work with people. But if people do want to work with me, I do groups where we talk about this nervous system focus.

It's not therapy, it is a small group experience where I do psycho education, we do coping skills, and I teach you this nervous system language.

How, how is your body responding? Specific to what it looks like when we have food allergies, with a really strong emphasis on the overlap between the role of the vagus nerve in anxiety and in allergic reactions because it controls both of those responses in the body.

The biggest thing is helping us to distinguish between those in our day to day lives. And to do that again, as we just said, with community and support makes it so much more powerful really sometimes even than a one on one relationship with a therapist.

Because you're in a group talking about it with people who understand.

Caroline: And do you mind just sidestepping and talking about the vagus nerve just a teeny bit?

Amanda: Oh, it's hard, it's hard. But you might have to cut me off. But I would love to. It's fascinating to me.

I'll try to give my summary. Usually when I give my vagus nerve spiel, it's an hour.

But for those who don't know, this is pretty popular talk these days. But the vagus nerve is a nerve that really stretches all through the cranium, down through the ears and the neck and into the body.

And it is what turns on and off that switch that we know as fight or flight.

To be more thorough, fight or flight is one phase and then freeze is another that some of us get stuck in. When the vagus nerve kind of shifts, shuts down,

I'm stuck.

So it literally takes the information in from the body's senses through sight, smell, touch, sound, taste. For those of us with food allergies, it's a more powerful than dangerous signal than it is for other people.

And then it, if it senses danger, it sends that response down to the body and creates the physical reaction that we experience when we have anxiety or when we feel like we're in danger, which is preparing us to fight back to the danger or flight we call it, which means to run away.

I gotta get out of here. So that's why our heart races, that's why our blood pumps through and our breathing changes, so we can get oxygen and Adrenaline all through the body.

We shut down our things. We don't need to conserve resources like our digestive systems. The biggest one that is validating for people to know is that it also shuts, literally shuts down blood flow to the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is where we do our rational, logical thinking.

So any of those of us who've been in an emergency and like my story is the first time I had to call 911 when my son had a reaction, they said, hello, 91 1.

And I said, is this 91 1? Like, three times before I talked to them because my brain was not getting any blood at that moment. I was in emergency mode.

So when you know the scientific explanation for a lot of this stuff, it makes it feel a little less threatening. It makes it feel more manageable. And we can also kind of appreciate,

oh, I can see how my body's doing that to protect me, even though it's pretty inconvenient. It also does keep me safe when I need it. If I can train my body to use that only when I need it and to go back to a sense of safety when it's not necessary.

Caroline: I only learned recently about the vagus nerve, just literally a couple years ago.

And that was the most perfect explanation of the vagus nerve. Thank you so much for that.

Amanda: Yeah, thank you. I'm glad. It's hard to summarize, but I tried.

Caroline: You nailed it.

So I can't believe it. Our time has come to an end. That just went way, way too fast.

So before we say goodbye, is there anything else that you would like our listeners to hear from you?

Amanda: I just want them to know that they're not alone and there is nothing wrong with what you're experiencing. If you're having any anywhere along the spectrum of emotional, social,

you know,

struggles with what's going on with allergies,

there is help.

My theory is that it's rooted in, you know, this nervous system work. And so if you're curious about that, dig into it because there are a lot of resources out there.

They can help you start to understand it. And it's a. It's really about reconnecting with your body in a way that is different from how we have learned to do.

It's very doable, it's possible, and it really can take you a long way.

Caroline: Well, I've just enjoyed, and I'm sure the listeners have enjoyed too. You're just upbeat, very positive, like, don't get sucked into the fear attitude. It was amazing. I'm so glad we have this time together and I look forward to you being back on the podcast again.

So thank you so much for your time.

Amanda: Of course, anytime. And thank you so much for having me. It's great to meet you.

Caroline: You're very welcome.

Before we start today's podcast, we would like to take a moment to thank Genentech for being a kind sponsor of FAACT's Roundtable Podcast. Also, please note that today's guest was not paid by or sponsored by Genentech to participate in this specific podcast.

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